" Oh! It's so darn easy for you" she said, " one kid and nothing more to fuss about"!
I was stung by this remark when I heard this from my friend a couple of weeks ago. There was a bit of truth in her remark, I admitted to myself, but I don't think I quite accept the so darn easy..
Here is how she sees herself, a mother of 2 (which I know is very challenging), lives in India, in a joint family (which I know is very, very challenging), the family is rolling in money and have servants of all kinds to do all they need, however, from her constant complaints- are hopeless and lazy and don't do anything and she has to do so much..
She complains they are always gossiping, or lazy or want to go back to their village and she has to spend all her time 'counselling' them. Really? Do people actually counsel maids? as far as I understood things, if you don't like 'em, sack 'em! 'Counselling' them is such a waste of time and energy! I could sack 'em, save the time, energy and effort to direct it to doing chores and getting over with it....
The rest of her time, she says, is spent in getting her daughter to study ( and the child, apparently refuses to) and threaten her or spank her... and left over time in taking care of the younger child and many a times in trying to resolve issues with her co-sister ( they are always at logger heads) and taking criticism from her in laws.....
On the other hand, my life is so darn easy, one kid, no servants to deal with, no joint family. Hmmm... What would I have done in her situation? Would I have been any different? Would I do what I am doing today? get up and get going?
I have less on my plate than she does, but I have my challenges too. For example, I have to handle everything on my own ( which is not a bad thing and surely something a 30+ woman can do), mostly without the husband ( he travels for work),plan, cook, clean, no elderly guidance, move every year or so ( and y'all know what that means, boxes and boxes to pack- without any help!) handle illnesses and so much more.
So why is is so darn easy for me? Just because I live in a different country? Just because I do not live in a joint family?
For a moment, my temper flared, I wanted to retort, "oh yeah! wait till you have a sink full of dishes to do, a child to drive to and bring from school, cook meals and clean the house, do the laundry when you have a skull- splitting migraine and a temperature and you feel woolly brained and blurry eyed.... and yeah, You are new to the city, no friends to run to, no servants ( obviously) and no spouse by your side"
Instead, I kept quiet, I listened to her venting on and on about her problems, it was no use, I felt, telling her about my situation, she would not understand, maybe I could not understand hers as well, I am not in her shoes... but I have lived in India most of my life and honestly, I did not think it was such a hardship, easier, if anything... sure everyone has issues with the help, but is that the focus of the day? The school bus / rickshaw kaka comes to pick up kids and take them to school. If the domestic help bunks a day or 2, cook minimally and order from outside. If you are so unwell, the Doctor comes home! If you are still in a position to walk, the Doctors Clinic is very close, as far as I remember, many Doctors had their clinics in the building where one lives, just go down stairs /elevator or walk to the next building ( and given the space crunch in a place like Mumbai, the next building is about 20 steps away).
Someone is there to make sure your child has good food to eat, what more do you want? I remember, a few months ago, I was down with a temperature and my poor little boy sat by me, all the time, ran a tiny hand over my fevered brow and said, "it's okay, mommy"... I wept into my pillow, tired, miserable and angry , angry that I could not do much for my baby, and grateful that he in turn was my support.
Oh well, all this has nothing to do with my recipe today, but just something I wanted to rant about and ask... do you all get into situations like these? What do you feel? How do you react? What do you think?
And now, let's move on to the recipe. This one is 'authentic' as a friend who tasted a bit of the tiny leftovers in a vati and said, "jaldi recipe post kar iski" (post the recipe quickly) and so, P, this goes out to you. hope you try this and like it, just as much as you liked it at my place!
This recipe, like any, from Pedatha's cook book is awesome! The taste, as my friend, said is totally authentic and will have you licking your fingers and fill you with comfort. Try it, you will love it.
Source::Cooking with Pedatha
You need:
100 gms Red Pumpkin
100 gms Bottle Gourd (dudhi/ Lauki)
100 gms Sweet Potato
100 gms Brinjal ( I did not use any)
100 gms Raw Mango
2 nos. Drumsticks
3 Tbsp Tamarind Pulp (reduce amount if you are using Tamicon or some strong concentrate)
2 Tbs Sambar Podi
11/2 Tbsp Jaggery
3-4 Green Chilies,slit
8-10 Curry Leaves
Cilantro , to garnish
2 Tbsp Oil
Salt to taste
The POWDER:
1 Tbsp Split Black gram, husked
1 Tbsp Bengal Gram
1 tsp Sesame seeds
The TEMPERING:
1tsp Mustard seeds
1tsp Fenugreek seeds
3/4 tsp Asafetida powder
Cut the vegetables into large chunks, retaining skin on all except the bottle gourd and sweet potato
For the powder, dry roast the ingredients till deep brown and then grind to a fine powder
Mix the above powder, tamarind pulp, sambar podi and jaggeryin 1- 11/2 cup water to make a thing smooth gravy
In a wok, heat oil for tempering, Add mustard seeds, once they pop, add the fenugreek seeds. Lower the heat with the browning of the fenugreek, add asafetida powder
Add chopped vegetables and , adding enough water to cover the vegetables to simmer
When the vegetables are done, add the prepared gravy, green chilies and salt and cook for 4-5 mins.
Finally, garnish with curry leaves and cilantro just as you switch off the heat.
Serve with hot steaming white rice.
