I got this e-mail today... reading it, I felt I could relate to it, like so many of you... I just had to share it with all you wonderful women!!!
Married or Engaged or Future Married Guys: Give it a serious thought!!!
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are.......
Who is earning almost as much as you do..
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are..
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements..
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life..
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name ..
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment..
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you..
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities..
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise ..
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met..
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her..
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it. .
But not many guys understand this...Well... Give it a thought now!!
23 comments:
simply lovely!
good one, manasi. just one item of difference:
"One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name .."
among nairs (like myself), the girl keeps her family name - the mother's family name. anyone who dares sugegst that she adopt her husband's family name is considered a loser and an idiot.
the kids take the mother's family name. the girl used to get the inheritance (not any more. under the indian law, both get equal parts).
no, i will not take my husband's family name, just as i don't expect him to take my family name.
btw, in my family traditionally, the husband moves into the girl's family home. in modern times, no one adopts anyone's home or ways. the girl and guy set up their own home with their own ways.
HiSharmi!! Thank u Dear!!
Hi Bee.. this is interesting!!!Nairs , the girl keeps her family name - the mother's family name..
Thanx for sharing !!!
Wow, that is something new I learned from bee. I must say good tradition. Lucky you.
So true Manasi.. But I find many bloggers lucky enough to get understanding husbands. Along with work and blogging, we really need the support of the men.
Good one. The story of a woman told in a different way...
great post !
Many women choose not to change their name. I always thought it was a ridiculous idea, and certainly have not changed my name. What's more, no one from my family or V's family cares about it.
Too good, Manasi,
First time on your blog, actually first time commenting. I have visited your blog in the past couple of times. I wish if all husbands would appreciate these facts. I think men are too self-absorbed and with the take it for granted attitude.
Every thing written is so true :)But it was interesting to know about the Nair tradition from Bee.
Very thought provoking indeed! :)
Interesting and echoed by a lot of women.... except the Nairs ofcourse! But Bee, I do know a lot of Nair women including me who have adopted their husband's family name, not out of coercion but voluntarily. Its more a matter of convenience than anything else.
Manasi, nice post, I'm going to copy paste it into my e-mail and send it out to everyone I know.
BRAVO...
This is perfect writing my dear. Who write this?
WOW...bee this is very intersting husband moves into the girl's family or home...great.:)
WOW!! Sounds like my life story!:))
Just great...Got to send it to my hubby dear now itself...
very touching and rational... truly sad that many don't understand these simple expectations...
thanks for sharing...
Hey Manasi,
All this so true. One more thing, the new bride is supposed to start calling her in-laws 'amma-appa' (mom-dad) from the day she's married. Thats ridiculous, something which I have not comprehended till now. Sadly inspite of all the open-mindedness we claim to have, most women undergo a huge huge change after marriage for better or for worse.
Hi Manasi,
Wow! A very nice and insightful post! reflects my exact sentiments. Fortunately for me Hubby actually listened and understood!:-))
Thanks,
Nalini
Dear Friends, Thank u so much!! for all ur valuable comments and inputs.
Oh yes!!And thank u God!! for giving me a wonderful partner, who stands by me in all I do (well, we differ where my need for dieting is concerned, but i'll let that pass!! ;)...)
Wonderful post..
Awesome post Mansi and well said! Men must seriously give a thought..:)
-Siri
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